


Transitive Law

by childoflightning



Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [25]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has PTSD, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Chronic Pain, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Has ADHD, Diagnosis, Disabled Morality | Patton Sanders, Fidgeting, M/M, Other, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, Roman is Figuring Things Out, Stimming, Virgil has a Service Dog, and that's okay, trauma response
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:40:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22964806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childoflightning/pseuds/childoflightning
Summary: Roman and ADHD- a journey. (A really quick one actually, because- again- ADHD).
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton
Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1322924
Comments: 60
Kudos: 264





	Transitive Law

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompts:**  
>  I would love to see if Virgil ever like suspects that Roman might have ADHD after having a really really similar student in his class with ADHD  
> -anon
> 
> I know you said that Roman has ADHD in this au, and I would love to see a oneshot about him struggling with it like with being distracted during important events and stuff.  
> -anon
> 
> The amazing, wonderful Max beta'd this. You can find them on tumblr [@fueled-by-angst-and-rootbear](https://fueled-by-angst-and-rootbeer.tumblr.com/)
> 
>  **TW: Ableism, PTSD, Panicking**  
>  In Depth TW in End Notes

Virgil had always considered himself good at handling different students’ accommodations. He’d gone through schooling with accommodations himself, and there was nothing worse than teachers who weren’t supportive or thought they knew better than him. As a result, he tried to do his best to listen and be receptive to his students, as well as taking the time to learn, understand, and support them through their accommodations.

Virgil wasn’t told why they had accommodations, so unless they shared, he never knew. But the truth was, he didn’t need to know. All he needed to do was listen and adapt to them.

He’d had students with ADHD before. Some with accommodations, some without. But it wasn’t until the new year started and he had a student come up to him and explain their accommodations- as well as sharing the fact that they had ADHD- that Virgil realized he didn’t really know what it was.

Sure, he knew what it stood for. But he realized he had never actually looked into what it meant. He had impressions, but he suspected that ADHD ran much deeper than that. Most diagnoses did.

Virgil wanted to do the best for his students, he wanted to support him, he wanted to understand them. He thought it was absolutely necessary to learn more about ADHD, so he began his research.

He was quickly- well not _disappointed_ \- but perhaps confused? Yes, that was a better word. Because the main symptoms of ADHD, well didn’t most people deal with those?

Virgil often fidgeted, was easily distracted, sometimes had difficulty focusing on singular things, and more. Virgil himself fit a lot of the criteria for ADHD symptoms and he quickly realized his spouses did as well. So why would this be a separate diagnosis?

Overlap, Virgil quickly realized. ADHD symptoms were officially symptoms of ADHD if they couldn’t be explained by other things. Virgil’s own traits of being easily distracted, fidgeting, trouble holding attention were all symptoms tied to PTSD and anxiety.

Logan fidgeted- stimmed- as well. Logan could talk excessively, intensely focus, and lose focus easily. Which made sense when Virgil learned that autism and ADHD were sibling diagnoses.

Patton was forgetful. But there was a difference between ADHD forgetful and having memory loss. Patton was sometimes disorganized, which could once again be attributed to memory loss.

As Virgi read more about ADHD he quickly realized how each of his spouses had symptoms of it, but all had other root causes for their behavior.

Except Roman.

Roman was easily distracted. He seemed completely blind to the passage of time and fidgeted a lot with bouncing his leg or tapping. He rambled and never seemed to run out of energy. Whenever he perceived failure he took it extremely harshly, feeling as if he himself was a failure- which fit perfectly into an ADHD thing called ‘Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria.’ Roman could get extremely passionate about certain topics, but often lost focus with anything else. He had trouble sitting through long events. He occasionally interrupted others without realizing. He was often disorganized, and coffee seemed to calm him down more than wake him up. He forgot lengthy instructions and took longer to start tasks. He couldn’t go shopping without a grocery list and would forget events if they weren’t put on a calendar.

Roman fit almost every symptom for ADHD and it sent Virgil reeling. Because _of course_ Virgil had noticed these traits in his spouse- how could he not, they were a part of Roman- but he had never once considered that these traits could be the result of something more.

Could Roman have ADHD?

Which led to his current predicament of considering that question and in result, thinking about absolutely nothing else.

“What’s up?” Roman asked, when Virgil was trying to grade papers and failing miserably, mind returning to this new question.

Virgil jumped a bit at the noise as Roman took a seat next to him.

“Oh,” Virgil said, “I just…”

Virgil’s mind was racing? Did Roman have ADHD? Should he comment about the ADHD thing to Roman? Would Roman be upset with him if he said anything? Would Roman be upset if he didn’t say anything? And what if Virgil was wrong?

Virgil shrugged, brain too overwhelmed into actually making a decision of what to say. Roman frowned and tapped at the table. Fidgeting, Virgil noticed. Or maybe stimming? He was still trying to figure out if fidgeting due to ADHD was considered stimming.

“Virge?” Roman pressed gently.

Virgil sighed, because he still didn't know what to say, and didn't know what to expect from Roman’s response.

“I’m anxious,” he admitted, because that was a good middle ground. Virgil was communicating even if he wasn’t yet ready to talk.

“Okay,” Roman said, “Anything I can do to help? I may or may not be intentionally avoiding my own work.”

Procrastinating due to struggles with executive functioning. Long or unclear tasks could be hard to manage and complete. All symptoms of ADHD.

Should Virgil say something?

He didn’t know what would happen if he did say anything. He had no idea of Roman’s response and that was terrifying and if Roman was mad, Virgil could get _hurt_ and-

“Just leave me alone,” Virgil snapped. Which was not what he had planned to do. Though Virgil wasn’t really sure what he had planned to do.

“Virgil?” Roman asked. His eyebrows scrunched together and he frowned a bit. His hands settled in front of him.

Virgil instantly felt bad but he was also scared and that was currently winning.

“Leave me alone Roman,” he insisted again, voice low and firm.

Roman continued to frown, but after a minute gave a quick nod.

“Okay,” he said, “If you want, you can come talk to me when you’re ready, okay?”

Virgil said nothing and looked down at the table.

Roman nodded once more and stood up. He was tall, and he was close to Virgil and suddenly he was looming and he was so close and Virgil had just snapped at him and what if he hurt him Roman could so easily hurt him it would be so _easy_ for him to-

Virgil was across the room before he realized what he was doing, back pressed against the wall as he struggled to take a breath, maximum distance between him and Roman.

Roman stared back at him.

“Shit,” Virgil whispered after a moment.

Roman carefully sat on the floor. He was lower than Virgil now, not looming, not a threat.

“Shit,” Virgil said again, brain catching up with him. Kit nudged his hand and Virgil looked down at his dog. Kit pawed at his leg.

Virgil sat on the floor and allowed his dog to cover him. He breathed deeply and ran a hand through his hair.

Roman wasn’t going to hurt him- he was safe. Roman would never hurt him. He was safe.

Roman was still sitting across the room, patiently waiting.

Virgil sighed, sat with his dog, petting his soft fur for a moment. Eventually he had Kit get off and he stood, making his way back to his seat at the table. He gestured at the seat across from him.

“Sit?” he asked Roman.

Roman nodded and carefully stood. With each action he took over to the chair, he narrated it to Virgil and kept in his line of sight. Virgil appreciated that greatly. He knew Roman would never hurt him- of course he wouldn’t- but his mind didn’t always understand that. PTSD sucked like that- it attempted to keep Virgil safe even when there was no threat around. Not anymore.

“Virgil?” Roman asked.

Virgil hesitated for just a moment, and then he blurted out his thoughts.

“I think you might have ADHD,” he admitted.

“What?” Roman asked, frown on his face.

“I think you might have ADHD,” he said slower this time.

Roman blinked at him.

“I’m- you think I have ADHD?” he repeated back, somewhat baffled.

“Yeah,” Virgil said, “Maybe? Attention Deficit Hyper-”

“-activity Disorder,” Roman finished, “Yeah I know what it is. Just- why would you think that? I don’t- I’m not that hyperactive? Sports suck. And I’m not rude or disruptive and stuff. I just- don’t see it,” Roman explained, “but I’m not mad at you and I am willing to listen,” he quickly confirmed.

Roman’s final words came as a relief- stopping short the anxiety that had begun to build as he talked.

“I just- I have a student with ADHD?” Virgil explained, “Well, I’ve had several students with ADHD? And I realized I didn’t actually know much about it, just what I had sorta heard. Like you said- being super active, not sitting still, not listening, disruptive. But I didn’t really know what it was? And I mean- I want to support my students as best as possible so I started to do some research…” Virgil trailed off.

“And?” Roman prompted.

“And to me, it seemed like you fit the diagnostic criteria? You show almost all the symptoms? That I’ve seen,” Virgil hastily added. Then quick because he had to be sure, “You’re not mad at me?”

Roman had said he wasn’t but maybe he just said that and Virgil need to be 100% positive.

“I’m not mad,” Roman promised, “I’m a bit…” he seemed to search for the right word, “I’m a bit… surprised. I don’t think I have ADHD. Don’t most people get diagnosed as kids anyways? I’m an adult this- I dunno Virgil it just doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense.”

“Okay,” Virgil agreed, because he certainly wasn’t going to argue this point with Roman. “Okay. I- okay. Well even if you don’t have it maybe look up RSD? Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria? It just- well it reminded me of a few things you said our freshman year in college? And I mean since that too- but especially then.”

Roman watched Virgil.

“Okay,” he eventually agreed, “Sure, why not?”

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief and the conversation came to an end.

* * *

Roman did research RSD. He didn’t think he had ADHD which meant he probably didn’t have this thing either. But he told Virgil he’d look it up and he wasn’t about to lie to him, so he did.

He was shocked with what he found because well, didn’t everyone feel that way? Didn’t everyone take criticism personally? Didn’t everyone feel worthless when they perceived rejection? Did other people not feel like a failure when they didn’t do something right or when they let someone down?

Other people _had_ to feel this way. There was no way that Roman had felt like this his entire life and most other people didn’t. It just- it wasn’t possible. Somebody would have noticed. _He_ would have noticed.

“Patton?” Roman asked.

“Hmm?” Pat said, looking up from his computer.

Roman hesitated. Was he really going to-

“Have you ever heard of RSD?”

Apparently he was going to ask. Thanks brain for considering that fully.

“No,” Patton said, “Why?”

Roman hesitated for less than he did before, and began to explain. Patton listened and asked for a few repeats and clarifiers along the way.

“Okay so- my other question is… Do you do that?”

“Do I have RSD?” Patton asked.

“Yeah,” Roman said. Because everyone- everyone did. They had to.

Patton frowned and then softly shook his head.

“I don’t think so,” he said, “I mean, I can feel bad when I do things wrong. And if it’s a big thing I’m going to feel worse. But I guess- I mean I don’t feel like I’ve been rejected or that I’m a failure or that people don’t like me. I just think I made a mistake. Which can suck but it doesn’t mean that I’m a bad person or anything.”

“Oh,” Roman said. This was- this was- well what Patton said made sense. What Patton thought made sense. The thing was- the thing was that Roman didn’t do that.

“Why are you asking, love?” Patton asked.

Roman shook his head.

“No reason,” he insisted quickly, as he already turned back to his phone. He could feel Patton stare at him for a moment, slight frown on his face. But eventually, he shrugged and turned back to his computer. Roman just took a breath and started his newest google search.

Roman didn’t have ADHD.

But well- it wouldn’t hurt to look it up.

* * *

“Hey Dad,” Roman greeted, the minute his dad had picked up the phone.

“Roman,” he greeted cheerfully. Roman smiled at his voice. “What’s going on?”

Roman’s smile slowly dropped. He drummed his fingers nervously on his pants leg.

“I had a question,” he acknowledged.

“Alright. Shoot.”

Roman hesitated.

“Roman?”

“It’s kind of a weird question?” Roman hedged.

“Roman I raised you for most of your life, I’m pretty sure I'm used to your questions by now,” he said wryly.

Roman gave a short half-hearted chuckle.

“Okay,” he relented, “I was just wondering… Was I ever tested for ADHD as a kid?”

His dad went quiet. Roman started to regret calling. Really, why was he even doing this? He didn’t- he wasn’t- a google search of symptoms didn’t prove _anything_. Sure, maybe they had all fit but that didn’t mean-

“No. You weren't.” A pause. “Can I ask why?”

He had to know why Roman would be asking that.

“I-” Roman hesitated, “I just-”

“Do you want to get tested?” his dad asked.

“No,” Roman responded immediately, without even thinking about it. Impulsive, his brain whispered at him, a symptom of ADHD, “No. I just- I…” he trailed off.

“Okay. Well, if you did ever want to get tested. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with that. You know that, right?”

“Right,” Roman responded automatically, not really hearing his words. “I uh- I actually have to go. I’ll call some other time.”

Logan walked into the room at that moment, giving a smile when he saw Roman. Roman attempted to return it. Logan made his way to the bookshelf, looking for something.

“Okay,” his dad agreed, “Okay.”

“Okay, bye,” Roman rushed to say.

“Roman?” his dad's voice interrupted.

“Yeah?”

Logan pulled a book out of the shelf. He held it in one hand, the other hand coming up to quickly brush all the pages, flicking through them quickly. He continued to stim that way repetitively.

“I love you..”

“Yeah Dad, yeah I know.”

“I love you. For you. Okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I love you too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Roman brought his phone away from his ear and put it in his pocket. He walked over to where Logan was still stimming with the book.

“Hey,” Roman greeted.

Logan smiled up at him.

“Can I touch you,” Roman asked.

Logan nodded in consent and Roman wrapped him up from behind. He pressed a kiss into the back of Logan’s head and closed his eyes for a moment as he enjoyed holding his husband.

“Were you waiting for me?” Roman asked, “You didn’t move once you found your book.”

Logan ducked his head.

“Oh, no,” he said, “I was going to read the book. But I found stimming with the pages enjoyable.”

“Mmmm,” Roman hummed.

“You were calling your dad,” Logan observed.

“Yup,” Roman said, “Had to ask him a question.”

“What question? And why not text?” Logan aked. He carefully broke free of Roman’s embrace to face him.

Roman sighed.

“I- uh- I asked him if I had been tested for ADHD as a child,” he admitted.

“Oh,” Logan said. He frowned and shifted on his feet. He continued to stim with the book, “Why did you ask him that?”

“Virgil said- Well Virgil said he thought I might have ADHD. I guess I was just-” Roman waved his hand as if to explain, “y’know?”

“I don’t actually,” Logan admitted, “I’m not sure what you're saying. Can you clarify?”

Roman nodded and tried to figure out the words he wanted.

“I guess I’m just- I wanted to see- I’m trying to figure out- Maybe I do? Maybe I do have ADHD. And I’m trying to figure that out.”

“Okay,” Logan said, “Thanks for clarifying.”

“Not a problem,” Roman was quick to assure. “I’m just- well what do you think?”

“About?”

“Do you think I have ADHD?”

Logan paused, thinking. He stopped stimming with the book and instead raised a hand to tap at his chest.

“You could,” he considered, “I can see why Virgil would think that. I’d have to do more research on ADHD. And your thoughts and observations are vitally important to the discussion as well. I would think that would be the most important piece by far.”

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “I think… I think I might have it?” he admitted. “A lot of the symptoms fit and it’s just- like a lot of things make sense looking back with ADHD on mind? Like when me and Virgil weren’t getting along when we first met. And when I struggled to take over as director. And as a kid when I struggled in school because I couldn’t focus on the material. Also in school as a kid when I was quickly drawn to theater and it was so much looser and I’d get so focused on it. Time is weird? It can pass so quickly but also super slow and I’m awful at estimating it and that’s apparently an actual ADHD thing called time blindness. Coffee calms me down more than waking me up. How I could never seem to keep my room clean as a kid. I just…” Roman trailed off, and then laughed slightly. “The rambling too,” he added.

Logan quirked a smile at that.

“You do talk a lot,” Logan said.

“Yeah.”

Logan paused for a moment, shifting and looking around the room. He frowned and dipped his head down.

“I’m not sure how to progress this conversation,” he admitted.

“Honestly neither do I,” Roman admitted, “I don’t- I don’t really know where to go from here at all. I have ADHD, but what does that mean?”

Logan’s head jerked up, eyes settling on Roman’s forehead.

“You said you had ADHD,” Logan said.

Roman slowly nodded.

“Well yeah, I mean that’s what we’re talking about? So…”

“You didn’t say that before,” Logan continued, “You said you might have ADHD. You asked me if I thought you had it. You said Virgil thought you had it. But you now just said that you did have it.”

“I…” Roman tried to find the right words. He hadn’t even noticed the change in his wording. But Logan was quick to pick up on things like that and bring them to light. And Logan was right, that was a change. A significant change. What did it mean?

“Does it click?” Logan asked.

“What?” Roman asked.

“Does it…” Logan huffed and cast his gaze downward. Roman waited. “I’m trying to figure out how to explain,” Logan said.

“Okay,” Roman acknowledged, and waited some more.

“Does it… Inside you- when you hear the words ADHD, look at the diagnosis, see the symptoms. Is there something in you that…” Logan pressed a firm hand against his chest and close to his heart, once again lost for words. He did it again, and Roman understood.

“Yes,” Roman said, “Yes. It resonates. Is that a good word for it?”

“Yes. That exactly. It resonates,” Logan agreed. “Does it?”

“Yeah. Yeah it does,” Roman admitted.

“Well then,” Logan shrugged, “Do you need more than that?”

“I- a diagnosis?” Roman tried, “I need to be diagnosed.”

“Do you?” Logan asked, “I mean- if you want to search for a diagnosis I of course support that decision and I'm sure our husbands would as well. But do you _need_ that to know you have ADHD?”

Roman shifted, and considered. Because he knew now. He knew. He had ADHD. It made so much sense, it clicked, it resonated. It was a part of him and so many things had explanations now. So much of his behavior began to make sense.

He knew without a diagnosis. But…

“If I don’t get a diagnosis isn’t that kind of faking?” Roman asked.

“No,” Logan, “I think a diagnosis is just physical proof of your experiences. It doesn’t change anything. But if it’s something you want or need, again I will support you with that, whatever the reason for wanting it. I just want to make sure you understand that a diagnosis isn’t going to change things. Either way you have ADHD.”

“I… I’m not sure?”

“About?”

“If I want a diagnosis or not.”

Logan shrugged.

“Okay. Well you don’t need to know right away.”

Roman nodded, relieved. It was already a lot. This was a lot. He was figuring out and learning a lot and his brain was tired. Did that make sense? He didn’t know if his thoughts made sense anymore.

“Yeah. Thanks Logan,” Roman said.

Logan gave him a warm smile and grasped his hand briefly before taking his book and leaving the room.

* * *

“Like I know I have it now, but what do I do?” Roman complained, pacing across the floor, “What does it _mean_?”

“I think it means whatever you want it to sweetheart,” Patton told him, from where he was lying on his stomach on the bed, heating pad on his back.

“What does _that_ mean?” Roman whined some more.

Patton shook his head fondly at his spouse. Roman just continued to pace, muttering as he did so.

“Does this make things different now?” he asked, a hint of something new in his voice.

Patton looked up. He raised himself carefully on an elbow and turned to look at Roman, wincing as he did so.

“What do you mean?” he asked, carefully soft.

“Like does this- does it change things?”

“I think it could,” Patton admitted, “But I don’t think in the ways you’re expecting.”

Roman stopped facing and turned to face Patton directly.

“What? How?”

“Well… I mean you haven’t changed love. You know you have ADHD now but you haven’t changed. I think the things that could change would potentially be some coping skills and ways of getting things done. But you aren’t going to change, some things we might adapt to work with you better.”

Work with him better? Why did they need to change things?

“What do you mean?” Roman asked, now frowning, “I cope fine?”

“I do think you’re doing well,” Patton agreed, “But if you’d like I’m certain we can change some things to work with you better. Cooking for one.”

“Cooking?”

What did cooking have to do with ADHD?

“Yeah. You’re okay in the kitchen but often not alone because you tend to mess up the recipes slightly or don’t watch the time. I’m guessing you get distracted.”

Roman stood stock still.

How had he never realized that? That was exactly it. When Roman cooked his mind tended to wander, not sticking to the task. It’s why he usually cooked with others, so they could keep him on task.

“I- oh. I never realized that before.”

Roman sat on the edge of the bed carefully so it wouldn’t shift too much. His back was to Patton.

Did Patton want him to be better in the kitchen? He wasn’t terrible but he certainly wasn’t good. But wasn’t that the same as letting his husbands down? He was letting them down because he wasn’t good at simple things like cooking. He was starting to not like this whole ADHD thing.

“Mhmm. And when you get hard on yourself- the uh- the- you told me the name? But I forgot it. But when you get really hard on yourself. We can come up with coping skills with that. I mean we have a bit already, but we can work with communicating more as well as helping validate you.”

“Communicate more?”

Roman turned to face Patton, swinging one of his legs onto the bed.

“Mhmm,” Pat agreed, carefully taking one of his hands.

Roman wasn’t good in the kitchen. Which was pretty much the same as bad. He was letting down- no _failing_ \- his husbands.

“Okay. Uh, well. I’m feeling sorta bad about the kitchen thing.”

“What about the kitchen thing?” Patton asked as he rubbed small circles with his thumb on the back of Roman’s hand.

Gosh Roman did _not_ want to explain. Especially after learning that not everyone did this. Roman was just such a failure letting his husbands down.

“I feel like- I’m letting you down? With cooking? And that’s kinda spiraling to letting you down in general? That I’ve failed as a spouse?” Roman shared.

“Oh honey,” Patton said, “Okay that’s valid, you feeling like you letting us down is very valid, you’re allowed to feel that way. But you are absolutely not letting us down one bit. Even if you stopped cooking all together, you wouldn’t be letting us down. All we need from you is you. That’s it.”

“Yeah but- I make more work for the rest of you.”

Roman sighed and leaned against the headrest of the bed.

“I can’t cook alone,” Patton reminded, “Is that a problem?”

“Of course not!” Roman was quick to insist.

“Okay. Well why is it different for you?”

“It’s just- It’s-”

Roman should be able to control this. This wasn’t something he should struggle with. He was invalid, incapable, a disappointment.

“It’s how your brain _works_ Roman, that’s just how it is. That’s okay. All I’m saying is that if you want, I’m sure we can come up with some better ways to support you. You don’t- Roman we love you for _you_. Whatever that means. You haven’t failed us or yourself.”

Roman felt like he had. But maybe Patton was right. Because- because this was just the RSD wasn’t it? It was his brain working differently, telling him he was bad and a failure when really he isn’t. He _isn’t_.

It was hard to believe and it was hard to fight but it was easier now that Roman had a word for it.

“Okay. Yeah,” Roman said.

“There’s also medications for ADHD if you feel like some of the symptoms are greatly impacting your daily functioning.”

“I think it does impact me,” Roman admitted, “Like a lot? But not to a point where I’m not able to function or struggle to function. So for now I think I’m going to table meds, but keep my mind open.”

“Okay,” Patton agreed easily, “Of course. We’re here to support you.”

Roman smiled down at him, and Patton pressed a kiss into his hand.

“Need anything from me?” Roman asked after a minute. Patton looked up at him with a soft smile, but the pain he was in was clear in his eyes.

“Lay with me?” Patton asked, “Just careful please.”

“Of course,” Roman agreed, and slowly made his way to do so.

* * *

“Ughhhhh,” Roman groaned, flopping straight onto the couch as he entered the room.

Virgil snorted from his position in a chair next to the couch.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Roman whined.

“Sorry, sorry,” Virgil said, most certainly still laughing. “Bad day at work?”

“Mm. Kinda? Not really? Ugh I dunno. I’m done thinking.”

Roman took this opportunity to smoosh his face into a pillow and groan even louder.

“Pretty sure if you're done thinking that means you’re dead,” Virgil remarked around his groans.

“Ughhhhhhhhh. But thinking is _exhausting_.”

Kit came to investigate him at that moment, pawing and poking with his nose and a wagging tail. He brought over a toy and dropped it onto Roman as he continued to bug him.

“Ugh you’re so cute,” Roman said. He lifted his head slightly and gave Kit a few pets and ear scratches. “Good boy.”

Kit perked up at the words and his tail wagged even harder.

“So, work?” Virgil prompted, pulling Roman’s attention back.

“Right. Ugh. So I’ve been thinking about getting an ADHD diagnosis.”

“Okay,” Virgil said, because this wasn’t news. Roman had mentioned it earlier that week, that he had ADHD and was now considering getting a diagnosis for it. Everyone had taken it in stride and worked on supporting him.

“Yeah but of course that meant that’s all I could think about today. Which means I couldn’t focus on anything. Which I’m now learning is an ADHD thing. Weird. Oh! But what I was saying was- I can’t decide.”

“If you want a diagnosis?”

“Yup!” Roman agreed, popping up and sitting to face Virgil. “Like- I don’t know if it’s something I need? Like I know I have ADHD so why do I need proof? But also getting a diagnosis could be validating? And there’s so many other pros and cons and I don’t know how to choose.”

“Oh. I bet that’s frustrating.”

“It is,” Roman groaned.

Virgil typed a bit on his computer before looking back over to Roman.

“Hey Roman, wanna know something?” he said.

“What?”

“Indecisiveness is also a symptom of ADHD.”

There was a pause before Roman dramatically buried his face back into the couch cushions and screamed.

“Oh fuck me!” Roman exclaimed, “Fucking everything’s going to be a symptom of ADHD at this rate.”

He’d figure out this whole diagnosis thing another day. (Or maybe not. Who knew anymore? At least he figured out he had ADHD, that was a solid enough of a starting point). But for now, screaming into a couch would have to satisfy him.

**Author's Note:**

>  **In Depth TW: Ableism** (Roman experiences very slight amounts of internalized ableism while coming to terms with having ADHD), **PTSD** (Virgil has PTSD and displays symptoms of this), **Panicking** (Virgil briefly panics and has a trauma response, briefly thinking Roman might hurt him)
> 
> My tumblr is [thechildoflightning](https://thechildoflightning.tumblr.com/). Feel free to send in asks and prompts, keep updated, and see extra stuff involved with this series.


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